A common companion

Self-doubt: it’s a common companion on life’s journey (for most of us anyway), that whispers doubts and insecurities into our minds, dampens our spirits, and holds us back from realising our true potential. It has driven me nuts. However, even though self-doubt feels overwhelming at times, I remind myself that it’s a universal experience, and I’m not alone by any stretch of the imagination. If you’re reading this, chances are self-doubt is something you might be experiencing right now.

Self-doubt can, however, be overcome with the right mindset and strategies. In this blog, I’ll look at the nature of self-doubt, explore its underlying causes, and provide you with actionable steps to help silence your inner critic and cultivate unshakable confidence and self-assurance.

Understanding self-doubt

Self-doubt manifests in various forms, from questioning your ability and worth, to fearing failure, rejection, or judgment. It often stems from a combination of factors that include past experiences, societal pressures, and comparisons to others. For example, you may experience a confidence-shattering episode as a child, and following that episode, form the belief that you’re not good enough. You subsequently carry that belief throughout your life – but here’s the thing; that belief stems from a child’s perspective and it’s often simply not true.

Your inner critic thrives on negativity. It amplifies your fears and insecurities, and over time, erodes your confidence. Yet, while self-doubt may seem like an insurmountable obstacle, it’s important to understand that it’s merely a product of your thoughts – a mental construct that you can challenge and reframe with conscious effort.

Challenge negative thoughts

The first step in overcoming self-doubt is to challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs that fuel it. Start by becoming aware of your inner dialogue and identifying recurring patterns of self-criticism or self-sabotage. Ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts or assumptions? Is there evidence to support it, or is it simply my inner critic speaking? Once you’ve identified a negative thought, challenge it by reframing it in a more positive or realistic light. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, ‘I’ll never be good enough,’ counter it with, ‘I may not be perfect, but I’m capable of growth and improvement.’

Set realistic goals

Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself is a common trigger for self-doubt. When you consequently fail to achieve that goal, you give yourself a hard time. Instead of striving for perfection or comparing ourselves to others, focus on setting realistic, achievable goals that align with your values and priorities. Break larger goals into smaller, actionable steps, and celebrate each milestone you achieve along the way. When you set yourself up for success and acknowledge your progress, you build momentum and confidence in your ability to accomplish your objectives. Remember, progress, not perfection, is the key to success – and a goal without a plan is just a wish!

Embrace failure as growth

Failure is not a dirty word, and it’s not the opposite of success either. It is, in fact, an integral part of your learning process. Instead of fearing failure, embrace it as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. This is possibly one of the hardest things you’ll have to do in shifting that self-doubt mindset.

Change your perspective from seeing failure as a reflection of your inadequacy. Instead, view it as a stepping stone on your path to success. It takes practice and discipline. It’s too easy to fall back into old negative patterns.  Reflect on what you’ve learned from past failures and use that knowledge to course-correct and improve your approach moving forward. Remember, every setback brings you one step closer to your goals – if you choose to learn from them!

Cultivate self-compassion, not self-doubt

Repeat after me. I am going to stop beating up on myself! Self-compassion is the antidote to self-doubt. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and acceptance that you would offer a close friend facing challenges. Practice self-compassion and acknowledge your struggles and imperfections – without judgment. Offer yourself words of encouragement and support. Treat yourself with the same care and compassion you would extend to others and watch your self-doubt begin to melt away in the face of unconditional love and acceptance.

Surround yourself with people who already embrace your brilliance

The company you keep plays a significant role in shaping your self-perception and confidence levels. Surround yourself with people who already believe in you! They embrace your brilliance, support your aspirations, and uplift you in times of doubt. Seek out mentors, friends, or family members who inspire and encourage you to pursue your goals with confidence and conviction. Distance yourself from negative influences or toxic relationships that undermine your self-worth and perpetuate feelings of self-doubt. You can’t expect change if you’re not willing to make changes.

Don’t let ‘comparisonitis’ eat away at you

Comparisonitis, you little devil. We all have it. It’s something that is inherent in all of us, and can really cause a huge amount of self-doubt.  However, used in a positive way, it can actually be beneficial. You can feel inspired to improve yourself and develop a positive self-image. However, on the downside, comparing yourself to others can make you feel like you’re not good enough, which in turn hinders your emotional wellbeing and has you doubting your own worth. There are several strategies to help you mitigate the effects of comparisonitis:

1. Focus on your strengths
2. Limit your time on social media. It’s not nicknamed ‘Fakebook’ for nothing. What might seem like the perfect situation you’re jealous of, is probably anything but.
3. Practice gratitude for the beautiful things that you have in your life. You know what they are.
4. Focus on your own journey.

You can emerge stronger and wiser

Self-doubt may be a formidable foe, but with the right mindset and strategies, you can overcome its grip and emerge stronger, wiser, and more confident than ever before. Brene Brown gives an incredible talk where she discusses self-doubt, comparison and judgement and how she navigated through it.  By challenging negative thoughts, setting realistic goals, embracing failure as growth, cultivating self-compassion, and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you can silence the inner critic and step into a life filled with confidence, empowerment, and limitless potential. Remember, you are capable, worthy, and deserving of success. So go forth and conquer your dreams with unwavering self-assurance, banish self-doubt and embrace your brilliance!

Love You. Love Life.