Once you hit 45 it can feel like you’re embarking on a whole new adventure for many reasons, and sex can be one of them. But if you’re thinking ‘not for me’, ask yourself why? Menopause could be one reason as it tends to play havoc with libido to say the least, or maybe you’ve simply stopped tuning in to your needs and desires. Or is it because you feel uncomfortable revealing your body? Another possibility is you’ve never felt very comfortable expressing your sexual desires and sharing them with a partner.
There are lots of possible reasons, and everyone has their own story, but would you like to enjoy better sex than ever? Getting older doesn’t equate to enjoying less or having zero intimacy and it doesn’t have to be a time to close the door on sex. Instead, it’s a time to celebrate the exciting potential of mature sexuality, and lots of people are. For example, you might be surprised to know men and women over 70, are now enjoying better sex and more of it than ever.
Embrace your physical changes
Your body changes with age, but that doesn’t mean it’s less beautiful or sexy. It’s about how you see and embrace your body that matters. So, if that mean girl in your head is having a field day when you look in the mirror, shut her down. Change your perspective and start pampering yourself, wear clothes and lingerie that you feel fabulous in and show up as the best version of you.
While you’re at it, try to view any physical changes as a transformation into a more seasoned and experienced version of yourself. Embrace the new you and accept that each wrinkle and curve tells a story of your life’s journey. It’s about being fully present – not what you look like, and the more you love yourself, the easier it is to feel loved by another.
Feeling sexy is ageless, it isn’t confined to youth. Sensuality and sexuality can blossom when you allow yourself to feel your innate desires. If you feel your light has dimmed, try indulging in activities that fire it up. It might be a movie with raunchy sex scenes, or a book that stirs your imagination and your body. Feeling aroused is natural, so why not acknowledge it and enjoy better sex than ever?
When you feel safe on all levels it can totally transform your sexual experiences and bring you closer together
Talk openly with your partner
Good communication is the foundation of a healthy sexual relationship. This includes being open and honest about any concerns you have with your partner. The chances are it will help foster greater intimacy and understanding. Everyone has a past, and if yours has left you with scars or doubts about sexual intimacy, don’t let them stop you from enjoying better sex now. When you feel safe on all levels it can totally transform your sexual experiences and bring you closer together.
Explore your desires and boundaries
Take the time to learn what turns you on, but also know your boundaries. This isn’t just about what you do and don’t want physically, but also emotionally. Ask yourself what you would like to hear, see, feel or try. Dare to be honest with yourself and if you don’t know, go exploring. Grab a friend and visit a sex shop! If nothing else you’ll have a great laugh! The more you know, the easier it is to create a fulfilling sexual experience for both you and your partner, and it’s never too late to learn new tricks.
When you feel safe on all levels it can totally transform your sexual experiences and bring you closer together
Rekindle the romance
If romance has disappeared over the horizon, bring it back. Work on rekindling the spark with your partner by spending quality time together. Engage in new activities, have fun and express your love in creative ways. Small gestures shouldn’t be taken for granted; that could be all it takes to reignite a sense of connection and passion in your relationship.
The importance of foreplay
Foreplay can become increasingly important as you age. It’s no longer just a prelude to sex, but it an essential part of the sexual experience, especially for women. For example, if you experience vaginal dryness and soreness during sex, your partner needs to know. He needs to be prepared to give you extra time, which can then help you relax, and your body be more open, literally. Lubricants can also help increase your pleasure and comfort factor, so don’t be too coy to use one. Taking time to explore and enjoy each other’s bodies will also help to deeper your connection and enhance arousal.
If you have any concerns what’s so ever don’t be too embarrassed to talk to your doctor
Get regular health check-ups
Maintaining your sexual health is crucial. It’s essential to stay informed and proactive about your health, and regular check-ups with your doctor can help manage any physical changes or conditions that can affect your sex life. If you have any concerns whatsoever, don’t be too embarrassed to ask questions. It’s good to know what’s normal and what’s not, like menopause for example, which can cause vaginal dryness and/or a decrease in libido. Therefore don’t hesitate to explore what you can do to help manage these symptoms effectively. There are products and several treatments that can help.
Know what you like
Self-exploration is a powerful tool for understanding your sexual preferences, and it’s never too late to learn. Self-pleasuring or masturbation gives you the opportunity to discover what you like and how your body responds. The next step is to share what you discover with your partner. You can tell them or show them by guiding their hand. They’ll welcome your input as it will increase their ability to give you pleasure.
Using toys and devices
Incorporating toys and accessories into your sexual repertoire can add a new dimension of pleasure. It might be as simple as a small cushion under your bottom to lift your hips, or a clitoris tickler to help get you aroused. There is an incredible variety of sex toys designed to enhance your sexual experience, to make it even more exciting and enjoyable. Have a play and find ways to enjoy better sex than ever.
Setting the right mood can help get you out of your head, into your body, and feel more relaxed and open
Create a sensual environment
Setting the right mood can significantly impact your sexual experience. It can help get you out of your head, into your body, and feel more relaxed and open. It’s easy to create a sensual environment with soft lighting, comfortable bedding and if necessary put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on your door.
The role of aromatherapy and music
Aromatherapy and music can also heighten your senses and set the perfect atmosphere. Essential oils like lavender or ylang-ylang and a playlist of your favorite songs can create a backdrop that enhances intimacy and help you enjoy better sex.
Regular physical exercise not only improves overall health and stamina, it will also directly benefit your sex life
Exercise for better sex
Regular physical exercise not only improves overall health and stamina, it will also directly benefit your sex life. Cardiovascular exercises and strength training increase endurance, while pelvic floor exercises can enhance sexual satisfaction.
Yoga and stretching for intimacy
Yoga and stretching exercises enhance flexibility, and help make sex more enjoyable and comfortable. These exercises also help to reduce stress and increase your body awareness, which both contribute to a more fulfilling sexual experience.
Building emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy is as important as physical intimacy. Spend time nurturing your emotional connection with your partner through meaningful conversations, shared experiences, and expressing appreciation for each other. The more you do, the stronger your connection will be.
The role of trust and vulnerability
Trust and vulnerability are cornerstones of a deep emotional connection. Being open and vulnerable with your partner fosters a safe space where both of you can explore and enjoy your sexuality without judgment. As a woman this is very important. If you don’t feel safe, it is so hard to surrender to pleasure with confidence and complete abandon.
If you encounter challenges of any sort in your sex life, consider consulting a sex therapist. They can help you and your partner enjoy a healthier and more satisfying sex life
Consult a sex therapist
If you encounter challenges of any sort in your sex life, consider consulting a sex therapist. These professionals can provide guidance and strategies to address specific issues, and ultimately help you and your partner enjoy a healthier and more satisfying sex life.
Join a supportive community
Support groups offer a community of individuals who may be experiencing similar challenges. Sharing experiences and advice in a supportive environment can be incredibly empowering and reassuring.
Love You. Love Life.
