As we age, friendships become more than just a source of fun and adventure. They provide emotional and mental support, enhanced wellbeing, and give us a sense of belonging. This is particularly true for older women. Yes, friendships are special at every age, but the older I get the more grateful I am to have a few very special women in my life. Why are they special? Because they’re open and honest about who and what they are, as am I, and our time spent together is quality. No time is wasted on judging, bitching or criticising, it’s about sharing our real life struggles and triumphs, being supportive and having a great laugh.

This is for any and all the women over 45 who don’t have good friends or feel disconnected for some reason. Hopefully it will encourage and inspire you to reach out, step out of your comfort zone and rediscover the joys of friendship.

Health and wellbeing benefits

Whether you’re in your 40s, 50s, 60s or beyond feeling connected is important for your emotional, mental, and physical health and wellbeing. Connection is a basic human need for us all and when it comes to friendships, they’re not only life-enhancing, they can be life-saving. Having one or more friends in your corner is such a blessing when you need emotional support, but they can also contribute to your health and wellbeing. Studies show that people with strong social connections are less likely to suffer from chronic illnesses, experience cognitive decline, or battle mental health challenges such as depression and anxiety. Women, in particular, benefit from strong friendships.

 

Mental Health:

Friendship can have a profound impact on mental health. Women who maintain close relationships are less likely to suffer from loneliness and depression, while friendly and even casual interactions can promote a sense of belonging and increase your level of happiness.

Physical Health:

Friendships for women over 45 can literally save your life. Social connections have been linked to lower blood pressure, reduced risk of cardiovascular disease, and an increased life expectancy. Friends are also good at encouraging healthy habits, from staying active to eating well. They can also provide emotional support during tough times, which reduces stress and boosts immunity. And when it comes to women’s business, menopause for example, they get it, which is a big help.

Emotional Health:

Sharing joys and struggles with friends can help relieve stress and build your emotional resilience. Women truly blossom in nurturing relationships that create a sense of trust, empathy, and understanding. Good friendships also provide a safe space for you to explore and process emotions, and we all need that from time to time.

How to make new friends after 45

Making new friends might feel daunting, but do it anyway. If you’re not feeling comfortable in your own skin, ask yourself why not and take action. Maybe it’s simply time you believed in your self-worth. Think about what you want and need from your friendships and how you’d like to show up. If you’re shy, fake it until you make it. Good women will support you. Those who don’t, aren’t your people.

 

Here are a few ways to meet new people and form lasting connections:

• Join a club or community: Whether it’s a book club, a yoga class, or a local volunteer group, being around people with shared interests is a great way to build connection.
• Attend social events: Community events, workshops, or even work-related gatherings can offer opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. Go with an open mind.
• Reconnect with old friends: Sometimes, reaching out to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while can reignite a meaningful connection. It’s worth a try.
• Online platforms: Many women find friends through online communities that align with their interests or life stages. The Women in Bloom Blossom Club is a great place to start.

Maintaining healthy boundaries

Friendships, like all relationships, require healthy boundaries. By setting clear, respectful boundaries you’ll ensure your relationships are mutually supportive. You don’t necessarily  need to spell out what’s ok and what’s not for you until a boundary is challenged. If and when it is speaking-up can stop a friendship from becoming draining or toxic.

How to maintain healthy boundaries in friendships

• Communicate openly: Be clear about your needs, and don’t be afraid to voice them. Healthy friendships gain strength from open communication, so it’s important to share your feelings honestly and listen to your friends as well.
• Know your limits: It’s okay to say no. Whether it’s declining an invitation or establishing emotional boundaries, understanding your limits can prevent feelings of burnout or resentment. Remember you are your most important friend.
• Respect each other’s space: Friendship doesn’t mean spending every minute together. It’s important to respect each other’s independence and personal time.

 

 

Recognising unhealthy friendships

Sometimes, friendships can become toxic or unbalanced. Recognising when a relationship is unhealthy is essential for your emotional wellbeing. Signs of an unhealthy friendship include:

• Constant negativity: If a friendship is filled with criticism, complaining, or emotional manipulation, it may be harmful to your mental health. They don’t deserve you, move on!
• One-sided effort: A friendship should feel balanced. If you’re always giving, but not receiving support or empathy in return, it’s time to reassess.
• Feeling drained: Healthy friendships leave you feeling uplifted, not drained. If you feel emotionally exhausted after interacting with a friend, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer serving you.

What to Look for in a good friendship

A good friendship will provide emotional support, fun times, and a sense of shared trust. Here’s what to look for:

• Mutual respect and trust: A strong friendship is built on mutual trust and respect. You should feel completely safe to be yourself without fear of judgment. It may take time to get to this point, but follow your instincts.
• Supportive and non-competitive: Friends should celebrate each other’s successes and offer support in times of struggle, without jealousy or competition. Friendship have nothing to do with how you look, where you live or how successful you may or may not be.
• Shared values and interests: While you don’t need to have everything in common, it’s important to have shared values or interests that keep the friendship strong. For example you may value kindness and patience. If they’re not shared values, the friendship may struggle.

 

Age Isn’t a precursor to a friendship for women over 45

A great friendship doesn’t require both parties to be the same age, in fact a fulfilling friendship can completely transcend age. Establishing a strong connection with someone is more about having a shared mindset, for example an enthusiasm for life experiences and learning or a hobby. Younger women can also bring a fresh perspective and new skills, while older women bring wisdom and a wealth of experience. Everyone has something to contribute so don’t be too quick to form an opinion. Take some time to chat to new people you meet as it’s only through conversation that you’ll discover whether you have shared interests, ideas and experiences, and a potential friendship.

First, be your own best friend

While friendships with others are valuable and life enhancing, it’s just as important to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself. Being your own best friend means practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and enjoying your own company. Spend time doing things that bring you joy, taking care of your mental and physical wellbeing, and treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer a true friend.

 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained

Dealing with isolation or loneliness, and getting out of your comfort zone can be challenging, but what have you got to lose? If you’re not an outgoing person by nature, focus on what you could gain by making the effort to meet new people, rather than your fears. Attend events solo, try striking up conversations with strangers, or join a new group. Pushing yourself can feel intimidating at first, but it can also lead to wonderful life long connections.

If loneliness strikes, remember that nurturing your existing relationships or reconnecting with old friends can provide a renewed sense of belonging. They’re often only a phone call or an email away. And if you’re feeling particularly isolated or are struggling, consider speaking to a therapist or joining a local support group to address feelings of loneliness.

Love You. Love Life.