A Sudden Goodbye to Your Loved One – Part II – Who to Call

In Part I of this blog, I discussed the sudden passing of Jill, my partner Colin’s sister (she was only 51), and how it affected him and our family. It’s been a really difficult time, and it’s hit us hard in ways we didn’t expect. Not only are we dealing with the emotions of loss, grief and shock, managing the practicalities of the life she left behind is devastating – but necessary. There is no burying our head in the sand with this.

The whole topic of what to do when someone you love dies is horrible, I know – I’m still living it. But I feel obligated to share this with you, because without any plans in place, your loved one’s passing is even messier and more brutal.

This blog deals with who we had to contact following days after wards Jill’s passing. Without her little black book, we’d still be trying to work it all out. It is my hope that our experience and what we learned can help you when (not if) someone close to you passes away.

 

You need to let people know

One of the very first things you need to think about is who you’re going to contact to let them know what’s happened. This is a massive job (the following list proves it) and it’s emotionally shredding, so get a family member to help if you can.

Another thing to remember that I mentioned in Part I, is that when you cancel any accounts you will need a death certificate or at the very least, an interim death certificate – at least here in Australia. A funeral home is a good place to start when it comes to navigating this, because they deal with death daily. Subsequently, they have all the information you need to get things started.

Immediate family and close friends

Immediate family

Inform close family members first. This can be done in person or through a phone call.

Close friends

Reach out to your loved one’s closest friends. They will want to know and may offer support during this time. This happened to us when we had to go through Jill’s possessions and as hard as it was, Jill’s best friend gave so much love and practical help to us. We shared many tears together while we went through her precious belongings.

Healthcare providers

Primary care doctor

Notify your loved one’s primary care doctor. They can help with necessary medical documentation.

Specialists and therapists

Inform any other healthcare providers who were actively involved in your loved one’s care.

 

Mail Redirection

Mail redirection needs to be done quickly. In Australia, if you do this with your loved one’s death certificate, it’s a free service for a year. This will give you time to contact other agencies, companies and utilities and collect any mail from parties you weren’t even aware of. Colin has redirected Jill’s mail to our home, to save Mum’s feelings.

Legal and financial contacts

Lawyer

Notify your, or your loved one’s lawyer.  They can provide guidance on legal matters and probate, and if there were any instructions regarding the funeral. As I mentioned in Part I, WIB Director Alexis has written a few really helpful articles around this, and it’s a good idea to read them to know what you should plan for – and what to expect if no plan is in place.

Financial institutions

Contact banks, credit unions, and other financial institutions to inform them of the death. This includes notifying credit card companies and mortgage lenders.

Insurance companies

Inform life insurance, health insurance, and any other insurance providers. They will of course, require a copy of the death certificate to process claims.

 

Funeral home and clergy

Funeral home

Contact a funeral home to begin planning. They can guide you through the process of planning the funeral or memorial service. I can’t stress enough how helpful these beautiful people were to us. Sensitive, with a wealth of knowledge and always a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, they are a valuable resource. Lean on them.

Clergy

If your loved one had a religious affiliation, inform their spiritual leader. They can provide support and help with funeral service arrangements. It doesn’t matter if you don’t share their faith. This is about them, not you.

Government agencies

Social security administration

Contact Centrelink (SSA in the US or Dep Social Security in the UK) to report the death and enquire about survivor benefits.

Department of Veterans Affairs

If your loved one was a veteran, notify the VA to arrange for military honours or benefits.

Motor vehicle department

Notify your relevant government body to cancel your loved one’s driver’s license and update vehicle registration.

Employers and professional contacts

Employer

This is a tough one. Your loved one’s colleagues probably spent more time with them daily than anyone else, and they will grieve your loss as well. They will need to process final paychecks, benefits, and provide information on any company-sponsored life insurance or retirement plans.

Superannuation

Superannuation (similar to your 401 (k) in the US, or pension fund in the UK) can be a significant part of your loved one’s estate and it will need to be managed carefully. This is where having a lawyer is crucial to help you unpack and administer this.

Contact the fund

Notify the superannuation fund of your loved one’s passing. In Australia, the ATO will have records of all super funds. The super fund will guide you through their process, which typically involves providing a death certificate and completing claim forms. This was certainly the case with Colin, and as with all paperwork, it was time-consuming and onerous, but vital.

If you don’t know who to contact, your lawyer will assist you with the necessary steps to take to deal with the Australian Taxation Office (ATO), who will have a list of all superannuation funds your loved one had funds with.

Beneficiaries

Superannuation funds are usually distributed to nominated beneficiaries and are treated as separate to the deceased’s estate. If no nomination exists, the fund will decide based on their policies or legal requirements.

 

Tax implications

Don’t lose a chunk of your inheritance because of tax. This is not what your loved one would have wanted. Be aware of any potential tax implications for the beneficiaries and consult a financial advisor, or at the very least, your accountant. They can provide clarity and help in making informed decisions.

Accountant

If your loved one was earning an income, you’ll need to discuss organising any outstanding tax returns with an accountant, preferably theirs if you know who they are.

Professional associations

Contact any professional organisations or unions your loved one was a member of. They may offer death benefits or support.

Utility companies and service providers

Utilities

Notify utility companies (electricity, water, gas etc.) to transfer or close accounts.

Subscription services

Cancel or transfer any subscription services, such as streaming services (Netflix, Disney, BINGE etc.), internet, magazines and the like.

 

Household services

Inform service providers like lawn care, aged care, cleaning services, and maintenance companies.

Social media and digital accounts

I touched on this in Part I of my blog.

Community and volunteer organisations

Community Groups

Notify any community organisations, clubs, or groups your loved one was involved in.

Volunteer Organisations

Inform any charities or volunteer organisations that your loved one was active in.

It’s a big list

It’s a big list isn’t it – and there’s every likelihood I’ve missed something. I’ve just realised I’ve not mentioned anything about what to do with your loved one’s pets if they had any – thankfully Jill didn’t.

Right now, it seems like every day Colin has to contact someone and tell them his little sister died, and it’s heart-breaking to witness. As I’ve mentioned several times, this is going to be one of the hardest things you ever have to face, so lean on your friends, family and professionals for support.

In Part III of this blog, we look at how we dealt with going through Jill’s belongings and how we wrapped things up in a really tight timeframe. All I can say at the outset is thank heavens for family and friends.

Love You. Love Life.